March 23, 2017

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I raised a question about your favorite things
You respond with a smile on your face
and a spark in your eyes I never knew existed
You opened your mouth, then said:

“I love the coffee shop near our school,
the freshly baked potatoes my mom always cook,
the vibrant sunset I always see,
or the john legend playlist i always like to hear.”

Your list went longer and longer.
And when I heard you mention the last thing,
my eyes cracked in tears
because i never made it into your list.

Funny how life is too unfair,
to ever experience my worst nightmare
Because if you would ask me my favorites,
it’s always you that would top the list.

Heart Ignited, Dreams Found

         My dream as a photographer started when “feed” became the trend in one of the most used social networking sites, Instagram. I take random photos through my iPad , process them all through VscoCam, and upload it in my account. As months passed, my parents gave me a new phone, and it gave me a greater opportunity to take more random photos. It became easier for me to snap photos because of it’s quality and because the phone comes in handy. Everywhere I go, my phone is always with me. Well, that dream is the kind of dream I never took seriously. I just take photos, and I just upload it in my IG for feed sake. Nothing more, nothing less. As I uploaded my random shots in facebook, it caught the attention of one of the photojournalists of our school paper named Mr. Dhan Kalalo. He told me that my shots were good and he asked me if I joined The Leaf (which happened to be the name of our schoolpaper). I said no, I didn’t but I want.

[

I seriously wanted to join The Leaf when the registration was going on, I even asked one of my former classmates if she would join, she said yes. Well, at some point, self-doubt conquered me. I thought, “Ala, wala naman akong binatbat sa mga photojournalist ng school, magagaling sila”. I was two meters away from the registration area, yet I didn’t had the eagerness to write my name and apply for being a photojournalist. Bottomline? I missed the chance.

]

              He told me that he would ask the moderator if is it still possible for someone to join The Leaf. So I waited for almost 2 weeks, and then bam! I’m now a member of The Leaf. Maybe they saw a potential in me, or maybe they saw something in me I didn’t know existed. My eagerness to become a photographer streched to its highest level. I realized how good God was. I missed the chance, but He made use of a person who would help me to improve my skills one of my ultimate goal. Thank you, Lord! 💯

                   As I joined The Leaf Seminar Workshop, I learned a LOT of things. My dream to be a professional photographer triggered at that moment in time. Bizarre this might be, but I nearly cried as I watched and listened to the speaker. Furthermore, in the workshop, we had an activity which was taking and snapping shots in the street. I didn’t make it to the top 10, but I never really aimed to be one of them. I came there because I wanted to learn, not to win. And guess what? I can say That I was able to imbibe most of the lessons the speaker have said.

                On the other hand, here are some of the photos I took:

 

         My goal of becoming a professional photographer has just started. If I ever made it to the point that I was able to achieve my dream, the first two persons I will give my sincerest thanks are none other than, Kuya Dhan and Ms. Sison. Both of you are just two of the people who inspired me to do and continue what I love.

50 Random Facts About Me

1. I love to take selfies, and after seeing the results, I urgently delete it.
2. I always love the smell of rice. ( The ones that aren’t cooked yet.)
3. I am an awkward person. I don’t usually hug my friends and even my family. I don’t know, maybe I was born to be like this. ( I’m trying to be that sweet person, but I just can’t do it, I just can’t.)
4. I am a sarcastic person. I’ll probably say mean things to you, either your a friend or an enemy. ( There’s no in between.)
5. I never have had any boyfriend.
6. I love Barbie dolls.
7. I am fascinated to the things related with science, like the black hole, UFO’s, planets, and others.
8. I don’t drink tea.
9. I want to be a model someday. Tee hee!
10. I love Dawn Zulueta and Angelina Jolie. Nothing in this world can stop me from loving the both of them.
11. I can’t go on a day without listening music.
12. I want to be successful someday. ( Who doesn’t wish this thing, Hannah?!)
13. I always love the feeling when I am with my friends. They make me happy.
14. I had, I have, and I will always suffer from depression. I overthink to much.
15. I want to be a Lifestyle Blogger like Ida Anduyan.
16. I love anything coffee-flavored.
17. I hate people who are so silent, like ‘Say that you feel awkward and I’ll leave!’
18. I want to travel the world in God’s time.
19. Cellphone, wristwatch, and handkerchief are the things I can’t live without.
20. I love Harry Potter.
21. I never liked to eat sweet “ulams”.
22. I have a habit of leaving a spoonful of rice or something in my plate.
23. My dream camera is the FUJIFILM X-A2. Give me one, please! 😔
24. Twitter, Instagram and Facebook are the sites I regularly visit.
25. I always dream of seeing and hugging Dawn Zulueta and Angelina Jolie. That is one of my life goals.
26. I love old songs.
27. I am so fascinated about the reign of Marcos. I am always curious about his presidency. “Was he a really great president or not?” is the question that cling my mind the most.
28. I dream to be a CERTIFIED PUBLIC ACCOUNTANT someday.
29. I could care less even if you like me or not.
30. I hate people who don’t smile back at me like ‘ you had the guts to ask me some things, and you were there walking past behind me pretending you didn’t see me at all’.
31. I always hate the smell of ‘calamarez’.
32. I love cold foods.
33. I forgive easily. But always bear in mind that what you’ve done to me will never be forgotten.
34. I learned to say shitty words back when I was grade 7.
35. Someone threw a stone at me when I was little, and the mark is still with me, in my head.
36. I want to be perfectly happy.
37. I hate some people here in our village , even those I consider family.
38. I love to take pictures randomly.
39. I hate when two people drifted together and never came back to fix what’s between them. (I’m referring to Chardawn.)

40. I haven’t had any talent.
41. I’m a nice person until you piss me off.
42. I was awarded ‘Best in Writing’ when I was in Nursery. (No wonder I became the Secretary of SSC.)
43. I eat vegetables according to the method of cooking.
44. I love fruits.
45. I have been confined in the hospital, twice.
46. I do households, but not regularly.
47. I envy people who are pretty.
48. It’s easy to lose my self-confidence. Like a minute it’s 100% and after a second, it dropped to zero.
49. I sometimes wish people aren’t that cruel.
50. I want to help refugee people someday.

14 WAYS YOU’LL KNOW THEY DON’T LOVE YOU COMPLETELY

“1. They’ll go if you let them. It’s one thing to not be the one pushing someone away, but it’s quite another if they go when you let them. That part of an ending relationship is always the make-or-break it, because when someone really loves you, threatening to go kicks their ass into high gear and reignites the spark that drives them to work for you again.

2. If any of the following does not come naturally: conversations, any worthwhile segment of time for one another, sensations of happiness or contentment. If it takes time, it takes effort, it doesn’t flow naturally and mutually, it isn’t love.

3. They give you up for the chance to “explore their options” aka be young, wild and free. I would never discredit the importance of doing our own soul-searching and what-not, but unfortunately, choosing doing so over your relationship means they value the possibility of finding someone else over the certainty of having you, and it says a lot if you really think about it.

4. You wouldn’t be “in a relationship” if you didn’t have physical/sexual relations– without them, there’s nothing there. Relationships can be sustained off of a connection that is physical and only wades the surface, but I guarantee that is a dim light that will burn out sooner or later.

5. They don’t respect your wishes, especially when they mean a lot to you, and most especially if they are otherwise petty and generally insignificant. These acts matter most because it’s the least self-sacrificing to honor them.

6. You sacrifice your time and energy more than they do theirs. Your efforts aren’t met equally.

7. They’re needier than they are giving. When you really love someone, you put them before you do yourself; you don’t use them as a go-to person to fill your emotional needs. When you really love someone, said needs are met just by loving them.

8. You hesitate to tell them personal/intimate things that aren’t otherwise flattering about yourself. This usually isn’t a reflection on your ability to open up, but rather that your partner will be judgmental or critical or unaccepting.

9. Your relationship grew out of friendship, similar interests, or convenience, and they are still the only things pulling or keeping you together. In other words, you grew into each other, but love didn’t grow between you in the process, (and the two can sometimes be hard to differentiate.)

10. The best times you’ve had together aren’t the ones facilitated by external stimuli that make the experience great. Anybody can happily go to a concert and out to a gorgeous restaurant because, obviously. Hello. A person who really loves you will be even happier to sit next to you in sweatpants and watch Netflix/do nothing but talk all night.

11. They say what they’re looking for out of your relationship are things that they could honestly find anywhere. It’s not about appreciating you, it’s about filling a role.

12. There’s an expiration date, or there was one at some point.

13. They don’t care about the little, insignificant parts of your day. Someone who loves you will call you up to ask what you ate for lunch because love makes us weird like that.

14. Sigh to this one because it’s the most glaring sign that someone doesn’t really love you but somehow it’s the most overlooked: it’s when they don’t actively engage in your life, keep in contact, or let you know they are undoubtedly interested. It couldn’t be more straightforward, but we like to conjure up all these reasons and excuses for people when it boils down to the same truth.”

(Repost from thoughtcatalog.com)

“You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don’t waste your time on anything else.”
— Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things

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